Jokes4all.net

Yo momma is so fat, when she jumped in the ocean the Whales started singing "We are family ..."

Yo momma is so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.

A man is in Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

There's a Mexican at a tomato stand. All he knows is how to say: "Only five cents", "Yes, very very fresh" and "Not today, maybe tomorrow." A woman walks up to him.

"How much are the tomatoes?"

"Only five cents."

"Are they fresh?"

"Yes, very very fresh."

"Could I buy some?"

"Not today, maybe tomorrow."

So the woman leaves and a robber walks up.

"How much money you got?" he demands.

"Only five cents."

"You gettin' fresh with me, boy?"

"Yes, very very fresh."

"Do you want to die right now?"

"Not today, maybe tomorrow."

A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.

"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."