What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.
A bloke takes his mates back to his new flat, after a few more beers.
One of the boys asks him: "What's the big brass gong for?"
The host says: "It's my speaking clock!"
"How does it work?"
"I will show you" and he hits it full pelt with a club hammer!
A voice from next door yells: "For fucks sake you cunt, its twenty to three in the morning!"
What is the smallest part of a FIAT?
The owners brain.
"Tell me a bedtime story."
"That's my favourite."
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."