Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!
A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?
Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time!
What have clouds and men got in common?
When they finally fuck off, it’s a very nice day!
Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.
Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex?"
Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a shit!"