Husband Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Husbands



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Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

41     Wife Jokes    


My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

37     Space Jokes    


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

30     Dog Jokes    


Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

24     Lawn Mower Jokes    


I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

36     Fishing Jokes    






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