Pregnant Jokes
Top 20 Jokes about Pregnant

A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?

Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.