How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Will this be on the test?
How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. In Chernobyl, one just holds the bulb and it glows by itself.
How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. Two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) "The light bulb doesn't need changing, it's the system that needs to change."
2) None. Social workers never change anything.
3) None. They empower it to change itself!
4) None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it's just differently lit.
5) None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness.
6) Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care.
7) Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.
What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?
The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.