What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, Let the bitch cook in the dark.
How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes the whole casualty department to get it out ...
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?
How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They're not small enough to fit.