What's the difference between a blonde and a bitch?70 Blonde Jokes
A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"34 Man Jokes
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
If only men would listen.
Two married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"40 Marriage Jokes
"How do you mean?" said Alec.
"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"
"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!"
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.44 Little Johnny Jokes
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"
How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?25 Pig Jokes
None, Let the bitch cook in the dark.