Why don't violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?
1) So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
2) If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.
How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?
How do you get a violist to play a passage pianissimo tremolando?
Mark it "solo".