What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?
The coffin has the dead person on the inside.
Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?
They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.
Why is a viola solo like a bomb?
By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.
What is the range of a Viola?
As far as you can kick it.
Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?
Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.