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Line Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Lines




What did the circle say to the tangent line?

Stop touching me!


If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!


"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."

"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"


Teacher: "I told you to stand at the end of the line?"

Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there!"


A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.

Agent: "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."

Passenger: "Do you have any idea who I am?"

The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."

The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."

She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."





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