Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
A crowded flight is cancelled, and a frazzled agent must rebook a long line of inconvenienced travelers by herself. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushes to the front and demands to be on the next flight, first class.
Agent: "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first."
Passenger: "Do you have any idea who I am?"
The gate agent grabs her public address microphone, "May I have your attention, please? We have a passenger here who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17."
The man grits his teeth, "Screw you."
She replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the lot for me.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
For heaven's sake, dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES!
At 4 the next morning, F. B. I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.