"Dad, whats the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" a young son asks.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "that's a pussy son."
"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"No son" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"
The sad life a penis: "I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, and my relatives are nuts, my neighbor is an asshole and my best friend’s a cunt!"
A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"
Wife replies: "That's because you look like a cunt!"
A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?
Mum says:"That's my sponge.
The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."
Why do men want their brides to wear white?
Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!