Dad Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Dads
Son: "Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"
Dad: "Hmm. You are my son, Iam confident of that. Your friend Timmy is also my son, that's confidential!"
A young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!"
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names?
The dad answers, "Well, son, it's tradition when an Indian baby is born for the father to go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees ... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love ... Don't be like that ..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
Son: "Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?"
Dad: "No, son, it wouldn't be right."