A farmer says to his wife: "If you had bigger tit’s, I’d get rid of the cow!"
Wife replies: "If you had a bigger cock, I’d get rid of the tractor driver!"
A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, "I wish I had bigger tits".
The boyfriend says "Well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months".
"How will that help to make my tits bigger?" asks the girlfriend.
"Well it worked for your ass" says the boyfriend.
A husband pinches his wifes arse and says: "Do you know if you firm this up you could get rid of your girdle?"
The wife annoyed, decided to bite her tongue and say nothing.
Later that night in bed, the husband squeezed her tits and said: "Do you know, if you firmed these up you could get rid of your bra?"
Absolutely fuming, the wife reached over and grabbed his dick and said: "Well do you know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the milk man and your fucking brother?"
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits."
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"