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    Wives · Blowjob · Sleeping
    woman,rosesTwo married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

    His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."
    3 Comments · Details
    Wives · Husbands · Marriage · Alcohol
    woman,rosesThe angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

    "There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
    10 Comments · Details


    Wives · Husbands · Devils · Halloween
    woman,rosesA woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "I'm the Devil," she responded.

    "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister."
    2 Comments · Details


    Undertakers · Wives · Husbands · Money
    woman,rosesA man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker

    told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man

    thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

    The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and

    you would spend only $150?"

    The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take

    that chance."
    2 Comments · Details
    Wives · Husbands · Dogs · Cheating
    woman,rosesA woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.

    "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."

    "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."

    The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.

    "What was that for?" he complained.

    "Your dog called last night."
    4 Comments · Details

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