Husband jokes

Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?

Miss her. Pity her.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"