Husband jokes

54 jokes about husbands



Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

60     → Joke

My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

52     → Joke

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

35     → Joke

Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?

Because the text on the diapers package said '18-40 lbs'.

36     → Joke

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

39     → Joke