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Husband jokes

53 jokes about husbands



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Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

71     → Joke


My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.

54     → Joke


Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

37     → Joke


What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?

Miss her. Pity her.

29     → Joke


I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

49     → Joke


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