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Bar jokes

103 jokes about bars


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Proposal

A man walks into a bar and asks for the strongest drink they have.
the bartender says to the man 'bad day, huh?'
the man replies, 'yeah, i just found out my oldest son is gay'

the next day the man walks into the bar again and asks for a double of what he had the last time the bartender goes 'bad day again mate?'

the man replies 'yep, just found out my youngest son is gay'

a week after this the man walks into the bar again and asks for triple of his last drink the bartender is shocked and asks 'doesn't anyone in your family like chicks?'

'YEAH' says the man, 'MY WIFE!'

2    


What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?

Most men have no trouble finding a bar.

14    

man,toilet

woman,roses
Patty loves to drink at the local bar, but his wife disapproves of this. One night, he's at the bar and he gets extremely drunk. He tries to stand up, but immedeatly falls to the floor. He tries this a few more times, but each time he falls to the floor. People offered to help him, but he said no each time. He finally ended up dragging himself home and sneaking into bed, thinking his wife would never catch him.

The next morning, Patty's wife says, "Patty, you son of a bitch! You were at the bar last night drinking again!"

Patty was confused. "How did you find out?"

"The bar called. You left your wheelchair there."

22    


What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

They are married.

15    

man,proposing marriage

woman,roses
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

87    




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