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Dead jokes

Dead - 9 jokes


How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

66     9

woman,roses

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)

13     2


What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

14     0


woman,roses
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker

told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man

thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and

you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take

that chance."

33     5


How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

61     6

girl,sexy



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