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Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!

118     → Joke


A girlfriend asked: "If my left leg was breakfast and my right leg was lunch what would you prefer"?

Boyfriend says: "Eating between meals!"

88     → Joke


Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time!

45     → Joke


There are four kinds of sex:

HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck all over the house.

BEDROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.

HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.

COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer fucks you out of everything you've got.

35     → Joke


Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" an goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.

Feeling horny, Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs. He says "have you changed sex?"

Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I am having a shit!"

55     → Joke



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