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Death jokes

39 jokes about deaths


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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

80    

girl,sexy

What is the difference between marriage and death?

Dead people are free.

63    


If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

32    


Do you know what the death rate around here is?

One per person.

42    

tax office

cat:2
Lenny went on vacation and asked Bobby to watch over his house. About a week later, Lenny calls home and asked "How's my cat?".

Bobby hesitated and sadly told Lenny his cat died.

"What?! You shouldn't have broke the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you should have told me he was on the roof. The second time I called, you should have said there was no way to get him down. The third time I called, you should have told me that you tried to get her off the roof, but she fell down and died," explained Lenny.

Bobby apologized and went about his day.

About a week later, Lenny called again and asked "How's my Granny?".

There was a long silence and then Bobby replied. "Well, she's on the roof."

56    




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