What not to say to the nice policeman
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack
, my gun
fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
The young reporter
thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a car
accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( . )( . )"
A guy was on trial
and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck
was on the jury
and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
was given a hotel room next to one occupied by honeymooners
The walls were thin, and the sounds of sustained sexual frenzy poured through. Finally the salesman could stand it no longer. He pounded on the walls, yelling, "Knock it off, there's other people trying to get some sleep!"
From the other room came a weak, faltering male voice which said, "Yell louder, mister, she can't hear you!"