A Sunday school teacher asked the children
just before she dismissed them to go to church
, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
replied, "Because people are sleeping
Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer
and an old drunk
are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.
A lonely frog
, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic
Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology
The Fire Brigade were trying to rescue an Irishman from the 10th floor of a burning building.Fireman
shouts: "Jump and we'll catch you in this blanket!"
Irishman replies: "Fuck off, I don't trust you, lay it on the floor!"