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A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin. Taunting, he asks: "Is this cabin for elephants only?"

The fat man humbly replies: "No! Even monkeys like you can sit!"

4     1

man,proposing marriage

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

3     7

The 5 worst things about being a penis is ...

1. You have a hole in your head.
2. Your best friend is a cunt.
3. Your next door neighbors are 2 nuts and an asshole.
4. Every time you get excited you throw up.
5. You always are wearing a collar.

20     1

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

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