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A woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for."

The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"

"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.

Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.

"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.

The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.

48     → Joke


Yo momma is so stupid. She tried to put M&M's in alphebetical order.

20     → Joke


I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

With any luck, right after it finishes college.

55     → Joke


A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"

"Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.

"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"

37     → Joke


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