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Lenny went on vacation and asked Bobby to watch over his house. About a week later, Lenny calls home and asked "How's my cat?"

Bobby hesitated and sadly told Lenny his cat died.

"What?! You shouldn't have broken the news to me like that! You should have done it slowly. The first time I called, you should have told me she was on the roof. The second time I called, you should have said there was no way to get her down. The third time I called, you should have told me that you tried to get her off the roof, but she fell down and died," explained Lenny.

Bobby apologized and went about his day.

About a week later, Lenny called again and asked "How's my Granny?"

There was a long silence and then Bobby replied. "Well, she's on the roof."

50     cat jokes


Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: "Prepare yourself for widowhood ... Your husband is about to die a violent death."

Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies: "Will I be acquitted?"

36     psychic jokes


I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler".

7     mother-in-law jokes


What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?

Divorce him.

23     fat jokes


Yo momma is so gassy, she started global warming!

8     yo momma jokes




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