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Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?

"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."

Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife. Makes me kind of immortal.

7     → Joke


Yo momma is so fat. She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

5     → Joke


What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

1) The viola burns longer.
2) The viola holds more beer.
3) You can tune the violin.

6     → Joke


An official Gallup survey polled over 1000 women with the question: Would you sleep with Bill Clinton?

1% said, "No"
2% said, "Yes"
97% said, "Never Again"

20     → Joke


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