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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."

39    

woman,scale

What do hurricanes and women have in common?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

47    

woman,kick bag

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.

46    

man,hiking

What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

38    

man,paint can

girl,bikini
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

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