Woman jokes

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."

What do hurricanes and women have in common?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.