Book jokes

What is the thinnest book in the world?

"What men know about women."

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he simply stares the book down till he gets the information he wants.

Tammy bought a new book recently entitled "What Twenty Million American Women Want."

Seeing the title, Doug grabbed the book out of her hand and started thumbing through the pages.

Astonished and not just a little bit irritated, Tammy stared up at him and said, "What in the world are you doing?"

Doug replies, "I just want to see if they've got my name spelled right."

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said: "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."