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Breast jokes

14 jokes about breasts


Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

81     0

man,weed

money
A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.

He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.

The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.

The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.

They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.

The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"

The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."

58     13


Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

Yes, your bladder.

31     7


money
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

28     18


baby,boy
A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"

"Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.

"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"

33     9


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