29 jokes about wishes
A man got 2 wishes from god
. He asked for the best wine
and best woman
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
finds a genie
's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband
will get ten times more than what you wished for."
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.
Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will be ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.
"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie
. It says: "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says: "I want a beer
that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says: "I want two more of these."
are trapped on an island
. They find a genie
's lamp and agree they will each get a wish.
The first man wishes he was 25% smarter, then he swims off the island.
The second man wishes he was 50% smarter, then he cut down the tree, made a boat, and rowed off the island.
The third man wished he was 100% smarter, then he walked across the bridge
Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. On the 4th day, a mermaid
came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.
The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish the ocean was a sea of beer
." And it happened.
A litle while later the other one shouted,"Great, now we have to pee
in the boat!"