Cheating Jokes
Top 50 Jokes about Cheating

How does a woman know her man is cheating on her?

He starts bathing twice a week.

A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.

The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.

The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.

The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

A boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?

Mum says:"That's my sponge.

The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.

"You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work.

By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?"

"I was in bed."

"What were you doing in bed this late?"

"Getting a second opinion!"