9 jokes about wine
15 → Joke
What does Princess Diana
and a bottle of French
wine have in common?
They both came from France
in a wooden box
31 → Joke
A man got 2 wishes
. He asked for the best wine and best woman
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
45 → Joke
was completing a temperance sermon
: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer
in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"
30 → Joke
The Japanese eat
very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink
very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English
that kills you.
4 → Joke
A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt – though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily:
"That’s incredible both our cars are demolished but we’re fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!"
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
The woman goes on, "And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let’s drink to our love!"
"Well, OK!" says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.
"Your turn," says the man.
"No, thanks," says the woman, "I think I’ll just wait for the police
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