9 jokes about wine
What does Princess Diana and a bottle of French wine have in common?14 → Joke
They both came from France in a wooden box.
A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the best wine and best woman.27 → Joke
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."48 → Joke
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.25 → Joke
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN54 → Joke
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked ... with beer.
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