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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers



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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

18     → Joke


Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetary.

30     → Joke


Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

36     → Joke


A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

41     → Joke


What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

37     → Joke


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