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Lawyer jokes

65 jokes about lawyers


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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

18    

tree.autumn

Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetary.

28    


money
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

32    


devil
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

35    


What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

35    


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