65 jokes about lawyers
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?20 → Joke
Cut the rope.
Where can you find a good lawyer?30 → Joke
In the cemetary.
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."38 → Joke
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?26 → Joke
Not enough sand.
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.44 → Joke
As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"