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Women · Men · Balls · Eyes
woman,wateringWhy do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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Women · Money
woman,martiniWoman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
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Women · Flight Attendants · Cockpits · Men
office galAs the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you safely to your destination."

Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right - is the captain a woman? I think I better have scotch and soda."

When the attendants came by with drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit."
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Assholes · Women · Orgasms · Kids · Husbands
girl,bikini:5A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.

"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids ..."
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Women · Batteries
woman,kick bagWhat is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.
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