A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife "sleepily" sat up and said, "Honey, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said. Feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store. As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the pharmacist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"
"Yeah, sure. So?" said the officer.
"Well, what the heck are you doing all dressed up like the Fire Chief?"
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" the cop asked.
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" the golfer asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette went into a farm to steal chickens. The police were nearby and they heard them and came in. The girls quickly jumped into three potato sacks so they wouldn't be seen.
One policeman kicked the sack with the redhead, and she said "meow" pretending to be a cat.
He kicked the second one with the brunette, and she said "ruff", pretending to be a dog.
When he kicked the third sack with the blonde, she said "potatoes".
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning.
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette went into a farm to steal chickens. The police were nearby and they heard them and came in. The girls quickly jumped into three potato sacks so they wouldn't be seen.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.