Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."31 Government Jokes
Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."
That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."
Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"
Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "34 Fairy Tale Jokes
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"
A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.25 Death Jokes
"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through … Why change now?"
The man leaned forward and explained: "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us."
A man went in for a brain transplant operation and was offered a choice of two brains by the surgeon. He could choose either the Architect's brain which would cost him $10,000 or the Politician's which was $100,000.22 Politician Jokes
"Does that mean that the politician's brain is much better than the Architect's?" exclaimed the clearly puzzled man.
"not exactly" replied the surgeon, "the politician's has never been used."
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.42 Government Jokes
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.