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Police jokes

49 jokes about police


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policeman,donut
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him.

The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."

The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"

32    


A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."

20    

policeman,donut

policeman,baton
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."

"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"

"Lookin for me."

23    


Police Quote: "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them a while."

6    

policeman,shield

Police Quote: "In God we trust, all others are suspects."

9    

policeman,shield

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