31 jokes about cops
After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
"You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?"
"Last week my wife
ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
What not to say to the nice policeman
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school
morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid
on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa
bring that to you?"
The kid replies, "Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse
you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick
underneath the horse, instead of on top."
driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "LOW BRIDGE
AHEAD". Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police
car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got your truck stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall
. He approached a uniformed policeman
and said, "I've lost my grandpa
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits