Funny · Short · New · Top
's so fat
when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want!
What not to say to the nice policeman
Is it true that people become cops
because they are too dumb
to work at McDonald's?
Three soldiers wounded in Iraq come home and are greeted by President Obama. He thanks them for their service, but tells them that, because of budget cuts, there have been some changes to the way you will be compensated for your wounds. You will be paid $100 per inch from any one part of your body to any other part of your body, you get to choose the parts.3 Proposal
The first soldier, somewhat disappointed, says "Measure from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.", he is measured, and paid.
The second soldier says, with his arms stretched wide, "Measure from the tip of my left hand to the tip of my right." He is measured, and paid.
The third soldier smiles happily, and says, "I want you to measure from the head of my penis to my testicles." Somewhat confused, President Obama says, "Whatever you say, soldier, drop your pants." The President looks, and sees that the soldiers testicles are actually missing. After a moment, Barack regains his composure, and asks "Where are they son?" The Soldier looks at the president, smiles, and says, "Baghdad."
Q: What do you call 100 John Deere's circling around McDonald's in Kentucky?0
A: Prom Night.
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.