Life Jokes

Programming is like sex:

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

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Social Workers · Money · Life

A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.

"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."

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Businessmen · Mathematics · Life

One attractive young businesswoman to another, over lunch:

My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.

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Patients · Doctors · Mothers-In-Law · Butter

A patient says: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life'."

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Life Jokes

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