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Relative jokes

6 jokes about relatives


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couple,kissing
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

64    


Proposal

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.

When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"

"What? You're crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."

"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor ..."

"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."

"I've already said No, and NO!"

"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."

"No! I've said NO!"

"My love ... Don't be like that ..."

At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"

9    


Proposal

The sad life a penis: "I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, and my relatives are nuts, my neighbour is an arsehole and my best friend’s a cunt!"

4    


woman,roses
A doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."

The manager says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work.

15    


What not to say to the nice policeman:

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

6    

policeman,shield

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