study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death
. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."
"Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment."
Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life
remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"
A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."
"Very good!", said the group leader, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church
, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."
"That"s wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed, that would be a very good thing to do.
But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the 4 weeks."
Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-law's home?"
"Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life!"
, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner
with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow
, you have completely ruined my life'."
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler".
A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral.
A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog. "I am so sorry to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "That first coffin is for my wife." "What happened to her?"
"My dog attacked and killed her."
"Well, who is in the second coffin?"
"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also." A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the man asks in excitement: "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied: "Join the queue. Everyone is queuing for it."