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You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

14    

gangster

How do you save a drowning lawyer?

1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

12    

gangster

soldier
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"

21    


Two Greeks chat.

Costa: "Did you ever fuck your girlfriend in the other hole?"

Spiros: "You are fuckin mad. I don’t want to make her pregnant!"

26    


A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin. Taunting, he asks: "Is this cabin for elephants only?"

The fat man humbly replies: "No! Even monkeys like you can sit!"

12    

man,paint can

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