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Shooting jokes

Shooting - 14 jokes



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You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

19     → Joke


How do you save a drowning lawyer?

1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

16     → Joke


At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?"

23     → Joke


A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

6     → Joke


How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a red elephant?

You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant?

Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

Ever seen a yellow elephant?

2     → Joke



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