Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"2
Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
"Oh,"said Hillary,"whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bill's clock?"Hillary asked.
"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
A man got 2 wishes
. He asked for the best wine
and best woman
Next moment, he had the best wine and Mother Theresa next to him.
Moral: Be Specific.
wanted a wedding
made in heaven
Versace was sent up first to get the wedding gown and decorative preparations done for the occasion.
Then D & D went on together.
Mother Teresa went next to bless the couple.
An invitation was sent to Elton John to sing at the service but somehow it was misdirected and went to John Denver instead.