9 jokes about angels
118 → Joke
First guy proudly: "My wife
's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
0 → Joke
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My mother-in-law
is an angel."
His friend replies, "You're lucky
. Mine is still alive
8 → Joke
Where is the first baseball
game in the Bible
In the big inning, Eve
stole first, Adam
stole second. Cain struck out Abel
, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
32 → Joke
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom
, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette
and continued smoking
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel
21 → Joke
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD
), The FBI
, and the CIA
are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit
into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear
. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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