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God said let there be light and Chuck Norris said "Say Please".

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How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Amish don't believe in light bulbs. God will provide light unto the world.

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light bulb

How many ayatollahs does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There were no light bulbs in the 12th century.

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light bulb

light bulb
Two bone weary public servants were working their little hearts and souls out. Their department was just too busy for staff to be able take flex. But there had to be a way ...

One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. "I know how to get some time off work" the man whispered.

"How?" asked the second worker.

Instead of answering, the man quickly looked around. No sign of his Director. He jumped up on his desk, kicked out a couple of ceiling tiles and hoisted himself up. "Look!" he hissed, then swinging his legs over a metal pipe, hung upside down.

Within seconds, the Director emerged from the Branch Head's office at the far end of the floor. He saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he thought he was doing.

"I'm a light bulb" answered the public servant.

"I think you need some time off," barked the Director. "Get out of here - that's an order - and I don't want to see you back here for at least another two days! You understand me?"

"Yes sir", the public servant answered meekly, then jumped down, logged off his computer and left.

The second worker was hot on his heels.

"Where do you think you're going?" the boss asked.

"Home," he said lightly. "I can't work in the dark."

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light bulb
How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Two. One to change the light bulb and one to kill the other and take all the credit.

2) None. There is no honor in changing a light bulb, besides, a true warrior isn't afraid of the dark.

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