Jokes Math / Little Johnny
Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
Teacher: "If I had ten flies on my desk and I swatted one, how many would I have left?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "One, the others would have flown away!"
Jokes Math / Adding
Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."Little Johnny Jokes
Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"
Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."
Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"
Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "Nine."
Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."
Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"
Father: "What did you learn in school today?"Learning Jokes
Son: "That three and three are seven."
Father: "Three and three are six!"
Son: "I guess I didn't learn anything today then!"
Short Jokes about Math
What animal is best at math?Rabbit Jokes
Rabbits, they multiply fastest!
Why did the math book look so sad?Math Books Jokes
Because it had so many problems.
If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!Infinity Jokes
Long Jokes about Math
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard him say:Little Johnny Jokes
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three"
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.
The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. She told her about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said that. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say: one and one, the sum-of-which is two!"
A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, "I need a caddy who can count and keep the score. What's 3 and 4 and 5 come to?"Golf Jokes
"10" said the caddy.
"Great, you'll do perfectly!"
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."Businesswoman Jokes
Son: "Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?"Homework Jokes
Dad: "No, son, it wouldn't be right."
Son: "Well, you could try."
More Jokes about Math
How do you teach a blonde maths?Sex Jokes
Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply!
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].Problem Jokes
Why is the number 10 afraid of seven?Number Jokes
Because seven ate nine, and 10 is next.
What did the circle say to the tangent line?Circle Jokes
Stop touching me!
Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "The wrong answer!"
Mother: "How was math today?"Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"