Top 20 Jokes about Math

Jokes Math / Little Johnny

Jokes Math / Adding

Short Jokes about Math

Long Jokes about Math

More Jokes about Math

Jokes Math Sayings

Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4?"

Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"

Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: "If I had ten flies on my desk and I swatted one, how many would I have left?"

Little Johnny: "One, the others would have flown away!"

Little Johnny: "One, the others would have flown away!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?"

Little Johnny: "Nine."

Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."

Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"

Little Johnny: "Nine."

Teacher: "That's not right, you'd have eight."

Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Father: "What did you learn in school today?"

Son: "That three and three are seven."

Father: "Three and three are six!"

Son: "I guess I didn't learn anything today then!"

Son: "That three and three are seven."

Father: "Three and three are six!"

Son: "I guess I didn't learn anything today then!"

Learning Jokes

If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!

Infinity Jokes

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard him say:

"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."

"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."

"Three and three"

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. She told her about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.

The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said that. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say: one and one, the sum-of-which is two!"

"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."

"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."

"Three and three"

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. She told her about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.

The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said that. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say: one and one, the sum-of-which is two!"

Little Johnny Jokes

A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, "I need a caddy who can count and keep the score. What's 3 and 4 and 5 come to?"

"10" said the caddy.

"Great, you'll do perfectly!"

"10" said the caddy.

"Great, you'll do perfectly!"

Golf Jokes

One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."

Businesswoman Jokes

Son: "Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?"

Dad: "No, son, it wouldn't be right."

Son: "Well, you could try."

Dad: "No, son, it wouldn't be right."

Son: "Well, you could try."

Homework Jokes

How do you teach a blonde maths?

Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply!

Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply!

Sex Jokes

Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?"

Little Johnny: "The wrong answer!"

Little Johnny: "The wrong answer!"

Little Johnny Jokes

Mother: "How was math today?"

Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

Little Johnny Jokes