When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Mother to daughter: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?"
Yo momma is so fat, when she jumped in the ocean the Whales started singing "We are family ..."