26 jokes about daughters
Mother32 mother jokes
to daughter advice
Cook a man
and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Mother27 mother jokes
to daughter: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend
? Is he respectable?"
"Of course he is, Mom. He's thrifty, doesn't drink or smoke
, has a very nice wife
and three well-behaved children
29 sex jokes
has 3 girls, they all got married, but she wants to know how the sex
is, so she says that after the night on the honeymoon
, they write a postcard saying how it went.
The 1st girl writes: "M&M's."
Puzzled, the women buys a pack of M&M's and reads the slogan "It melts in your mouth, not in your hand."
The 2nd girl writes: "Campbell's soup."
Again the mom buys some cambles soup and reads: "Mmm ... mmm ... good."
3 weeks pass and the 3rd girl finally writes: "Ford
The mom goes to her ford and reads on a sticker: "The best never stop."
33 boob jokes
is at the dinner table. The son
asks his father
, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter asked, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
21 Catholic jokesNext page Jokesdaughter sayings
men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son
is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him Your Grace."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says Your Eminence."
The fourth Catholic man chirps, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him Your Holiness."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?"
She replies, "I have a gorgeous daughter. When she walks into a room, people say, ... Oh God