64 jokes about fathers
A little girl asked her
mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his!"
45
mother jokesThree
nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the Father's room the other day, and I found a bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the second nun asked.
"I threw them in the trash, of course."
"Well," said the second nun, "I was in the Father's room putting away laundry and found a bunch of
condoms."
"What did you do?" the first nun asked.
"I poked
holes in them."
"Oh, crap," said the third nun.
19
nun jokesA woman goes to the hospital, and her doctor gives her a
sonogram.
He sees the
baby and suddenly the baby says: "Are you my daddy?"
The doctor is shocked and goes to get another doctor, who looks at the sonogram.
The baby says again: "Are you my daddy?"
The doctor says: "No, I'm not your father."
They go to get the dad, the father looks at his baby boy and the baby asked: "Are you my daddy?"
And the father says: "Yes, I am!"
So, the baby pops out of the mother's womb, picks up his hand, and starts poking the father in the head while saying: "How do you like that?! How do you like that?!"
15
baby jokesA father asked his
son, Little
Johnny, if he knew about the
birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no
Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have
sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
35
sex jokesThere was a
boy who had to use an
outhouse and he hated it sooo bad. One day it started to rain really hard and it got the bank all slippery and wet so he decided to push it off. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.
He said: "Yes."
His father told his son to come with him to get his whipping.
The boy said: "George Washington didn't get in trouble when he chopped down the cherry
tree because he was honest."
The boys father said: "but George Washingtons father wasn't in the cherry tree when he chopped it down."
15
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