The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep.
The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"