78 jokes about teachers
14 → Joke
Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"
: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
30 → Joke
The teacher of the earth science
class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating
48 → Joke
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny
, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love
." the boy
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom
39 → Joke
Teacher: Why are you late
Joseph: Because of a sign
down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "SCHOOL
AHEAD. GO SLOW!"
73 → Joke
"If there are any idiots
in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic
After a long silence, one freshman
rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student
, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
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