Funny · Short · New · Top
Whats the difference between a used car
salesman and a software
The used car salesman knows when he's lying
salesman appeared at the door of an old lady
's cottage and, without allowing the woman
to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt
all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt."
The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity
bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?"
A salesman was given a hotel room next to one occupied by honeymooners
The walls were thin, and the sounds of sustained sexual frenzy poured through. Finally the salesman could stand it no longer. He pounded on the walls, yelling, "Knock it off, there's other people trying to get some sleep!"
From the other room came a weak, faltering male voice which said, "Yell louder, mister, she can't hear you!"
Jim had an awful day fishing
on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish
salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife
that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout."
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That's what she'd like for supper
salesmen were sitting at the bar
. One complained to the other, "Boy, business
sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde
, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"