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A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

19    


How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

11    


Whats the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?

The used car salesman knows when he's lying.

27    

car

Proposal

The school phoned me today and said: "Your son has been telling lies!"

I said: "Well tell him he's bloody good. I ain't got any kids!"

4    


How long is the average woman in labor?

Whatever she says divided by two.

24    

girl,bikini

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